wellness

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ll probably know that I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome a few years back. I finally declared myself well in March 2009 – my doctor took a bit longer to do so!

Lying in bed this morning, I realised that we’re now in March 2011. That means I’ve been well again for 2 years. Wow!

In the nine months that I was sick, and in the time afterwards where I processed my experience (and this still continues to this day), I learnt a few things. I learnt what it is to be sick – really sick – with no way of knowing how long its going to go on, or even if it will end. I have more of an understanding of long-term illness that I ever expected or wanted to have. But I am better for it.

I learnt to value good health. It really is something that most of us take for granted until we don’t have it anymore. I also learnt that I can make all the plans I want, but there’s no guarantee that those plans will come to fruition. Sure, I’ll make plans, but now I’m much more realistic about the fact that I have no control over these things really. There are many more things that I learnt, about caring, about carers, and about learning to accept help from others.

I am naturally a “doing” sort of person, but when I was sick, I couldn’t “do” anything. It meant that I had to rethink what it meant to be me. As an achievement based person, who was unable to achieve much at all, I realised that maybe I needed to find another way to think about myself. I thought through the idea that perhaps it was about me just “being”. Even if I couldn’t do, I could “be”. I could choose to “be” a bitter person lying on that lounge, constantly bemoaning my situation, or I could try to “be” a person who people wanted to spend time with, who despite my illness was a loving and kind person. I’m not saying I succeeded in that, as I am still very much a doer, but it did help me to see that “doing” should not be the whole story.

While it was a horrible time in my life (and my whole family’s) I hope I made the best of it.

If you’re long term ill, I sincerely hope that today is a good day for you.