Today is RUOK Day here in Australia. (RUOK = Are You OK?) https://www.ruok.org.au/
It’s a day when we’re encouraged to ask the people around us, “Are you ok?” Many people struggle with many different aspects of life. They may be finding relationships difficult. Finance might be a problem. They might be grieving the loss of a loved one. They might be desperate for work, housing, safety, understanding, love… They might be being bullied. They might be struggling with self-worth.
We all have the ability to reach out to others and check that they’re ok. And just by asking we may start a conversation that changes a life.
The other evening, I came to realise that despite my many many long hours of hard work, my book is still a long way away from being finished. There’s still so much to do. I had set myself the deadline of having it available for Christmas, and I realised that unless I worked non-stop for the next few weeks, that just wasn’t going to happen.
I went to bed that night feeling that it was just too hard to keep all the juggling balls in the air. Small things became big things. Sometimes I feel like I spend my life cooking meat to keep up with the protein requirements of The Gymnast. Most of the time I just laugh about it, but that night, it seemed too much. Much of the time I remember things that I need to do, but that night I just felt like writing all the lists to make sure I don’t forget things, was too much. It was just all too much.
I went to bed feeling sad, but I slept well.
In the morning, in a moment of clarity, I realised that my self-imposed deadline of having the book out for Christmas was just that – self-imposed. And so, I decided to dispense with it. No, the book will not be ready for sale at Christmas. Part of me feels apologetic about that, because I know people are really looking forward to it. But another part of me feels completely unapologetic about it. This is my life I managing here, and I’m not going to unnecessarily make my life harder by setting a deadline that is unreachable and unrealistic.
So now the book will hopefully be out in early 2016.
All that is to say that I am now ok. But I’m going to ask you, “R U OK?”
Please take the time to ask the people around you today.
White Threads is the blog of Yvette Stanton, the author, designer, publisher behind Vetty Creations' quality needlework books and embroidery products.
Well good for you! Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. I am retiring next year and it has given me a whole new perspective on life. Things that used to bother me at work now just slide away into oblivion. I am just as conscientious, work just as hard but I no longer let things get under my skin. I wish I had come to this conclusion years ago. Sometimes we drive ourselves too hard without stopping to think that no one else is expecting the perfection we’d expect of ourselves. So good for you! Your book will be every bit as successful and just as eagerly awaited in 2016 as it would have been for Christmas.
Thanks Eileen! Your encouragement is much appreciated. Best wishes as you prepare for your retirement. 🙂
Hi Yvette, love this post on so many levels. Overwhelm catches us all out sometimes, especially when we are juggling the competing demands of family, business and dreams. And I think the goals we set ourselves are often the hardest ones to let go 🙂 I have been bubbling with all sorts of goals and ideas for next year, but realised this week that I was putting way too much pressure on myself. Spent the last couple of days talking things through with family and friends and came up with a focus for next year (which enabled me to “let go” of some stuff). It was such a relief! So, I am now able to say that today I am more than OK and I am so glad that you are too 🙂
I’m glad you’re ok too, Ann-Marie. I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with next year! My aunt gave me some very good advice many years ago. She said, “Yvette, you don’t have to do everything NOW.” Thanks for your encouragement.
A really lovely post. I had not seen R U OK being presented in this way before.
We all want to be successful as people although we each define that success differently. Life is interesting not easy.
I am one of those people who often thinks she is not OK but probably is.
Sometimes it really is hardest to let go of my own self-imposed deadlines and arbitrary standards. In the U.S., I hadn’t heard of “RUOK,” but it is certainly a wonderful idea to take the time to invite others to share whatever might be on their minds. I look forward to seeing your new book, whenever it is finished!
Thanks for your kind words, Louise.
Thanks Kathryn. I think the book will be ready in it’s own sweet time!
Good for you! I’m sure we would all prefer that you still had a sparkle in your eyes when the book comes out. But maybe The Gymnast could learn to cook her own meat occationally?
🙂 She’d be very happy to help cook her own meat, Rachel, but usually she’s asleep when I do it, or at school or at gym. When she’s at home, she’s usually sleeping, eating or doing homework. Doesn’t leave much time for cooking meat. But I’ll keep it in mind as a suggestion for when she’s got some spare time… 🙂
Good for you Yvette! I know I am my own worst enemy but it doesn’t stop me from piling things on and creating all kinds of self-imposed anxiety. I took a couple of days off to recharge and nobody died. Life is good! More power to you!
Thanks Jeanine. 🙂